Melanie Stay Where You’re Seated. You’re NOT The Next Contestant on The Price is Right

September 8, 2009 4:28 am Fairfax Avenue, Los Angeles

Stef’s apartment, where the infamous air mattress resides, happens to be in walking distance of CBS TV City, where one of my favorite childhood shows is filmed, The Price is Right. In honor of Labor Day, Stef, JP, and I decided it would be a great idea to go see the show. That weekend Stef’s car had to go to the shop, so she was very keen to take a shot at winning a Dodge Neon. Being unemployed as I am, I too thought it was a great idea. Not only am I unemployed, but am also hopefully moving on from my air mattress living soon, and will be in the market for some furniture. I would love to win a dining room set with matching China. And well, do I even need to pretend like JP needed to rationalize her desire to go? Please.

For those of you who are not familiar with the process of how to get on the show, which I suspect most of you are (and care to stay that way), it is a HUGE pain in the rear. We woke up at 4:00am to go walk over to CBS to wait on the sidewalk on Fairfax Avenue until basically 8:30 am. With beach towels in tow, and smiles on our faces, we made our way past all the sketchy rape vans on the road in West Hollywood, and saw the already long line outside CBS. We apparently walked up the wrong way and I just stand next the first man I see, thinking it was the back of the line. Well no, it actually was the front of the line and this man looked at me like I was just about the dumbest person he has ever seen. Clearly his temper was high since he had been securing that #1 spot in line since 8:00PM THE NIGHT BEFORE. Oh, and I can't fail to mention he was in a Hawaiian themed outfit. I politely excused myself and we continued to the actual end of the line to sit behind my new best friends, and the protagonists of this posting, for the next 9 hours: Tina and Toni, two sisters from Chatsworth, California. This was Tina and Toni’s SEVENTEENTH time to wait in line to see the show. They were official with their fold-out beach chairs, picnic basket filled with food, and their encyclopedia of knowledge about how to get on the show. (Tina is in the blue zip up jacket behind JP and toni is on the right in the red). I knew this was going to be a long day. I was lucky enough to sit next to the intriguing Tina, while JP and Stef talked amongst themselves the whole time. Tina has been unemployed for a year and spends her days being in the audience on various shows. Tina and Toni were recently in the audience for the pilot of Let’s Make a Deal, appeared on Divorce Court, Judge Judy, The Drs., Are You Smarter Than a 5^th Grader…the list goes on. She then learned throughout the morning that I too was unemployed, and she so kindly gave me the phone number of a contact who can get me in all the audiences for $8 an hour. Thanks Tina :) I later learned she has a personalized license plate: <3 style=""> She so kindly offered me a glazed donut, a bit of a hot dog, and cheetos from her picnic. We became great ole friends. Her homemade shirt read “Stan Pick Me To Come on Down.” Stan is the producer of the show who asks you what’s your name, where you are from and what you do there, to see if he wants you to get called down. But for the infamous Tina and Toni sisters he goes, “Oh hey ladies, what have you two been up to the past week, it has been a while.” Apparently once they told Stan if he didn't call them down, they would show up naked. (bad visual) For some reason, I don’t know why, Stan was not charmed by my telling story on how I just moved out to LA from Texas and studied to be a nurse (tiny white lie) and looking for a job, or JP’s or Stef’s for that matter. However, he decided it was going to be Toni’s lucky day, and she was called down! Sadly though, she did not win to go up on stage and left with a V-Tech Cordless Home Phone and $200, courtesy of a laser light hair removal company.

After waiting in line for 8 hours, my champagne buzz from the 7am mimosas was gone, my spirit sizzled, and I just wanted to get the hell off that CBS lot. If you read my last post, you will recall how I mentioned the people who try out for the Price is Right are the same ones who swim in their clothes at water parks. Well I don’t like water parks and I definitely don’t swim in my clothes. With that being said, if UT goes to the Rose Bowl this year I might be tempted to gather a group of 15 together to go on the show because then one of us will be guaranteed to be called down, and what can I say, the people watching is priceless.