In honor of turning another year older

24 random thoughts/observations (in no particular order)

1. Everyone looks better with a tan.

2. Cereal can be eaten for any meal of the day. With that being said, the suggested serving size of 3/4 a cup is a joke.

3. Drive thru banks are a great invention. It's sad that I drive out of my way to find one, too.

4. With that being said, checks are annoying and everything needs to be done via direct deposit.

5. There’s nothing better than lying on the beach all day and doing nothing.

6. No, I am not smarter than a 5th grader.

7. The people who wait in line for the Price is Right are the same people that swim fully clothed at water parks.

8. There is a Saved By the Bell episode that can explain any trial you face in life.

9. I still wink at red lights because I am convinced they will turn green like in Corrina, Corrina.

10. D.U.R.M.B. is going to be the next new thing. If you can figure out what this acronym stands for, I will let you in on my future millions.

11. Infomercials at 2 a.m. are actually convincing, especially if they sell fitness products. Guilty.

12. People who order Grilled Chicken at KFC are just as dumb as people who get a ‘healthy’ salad at The Cheesecake Factory.

13. Want my honest answer to my five year plan? I hope I am married with a baby (or one on the way) and not working.

14. According to the New York Times, the key to living longer is having friends, and friendly outgoing people are more likely to live to be 100. Clearly that tidbit needs to be updated because when counting facebook friends we should be close to invincible.

15. In my opinion, having three (or five) alcoholic drinks gives you wings, not RedBull.

16. When cars die and go to heaven, they cross the border and go to Mexico.

17. If something fits, buy it in every color.

18. Drew Carey will never compare to Bob Barker.

19. Everything is always negotiable.

20. People that don't like California are just jealous they don't live there.

21. Remember when we were kids and our parents would tell us to go play outside and dig a hole to China?

22. It’s hard being funny.

23. How did I believe in Santa Claus until I was 10, but gave up on the Easter Bunny at 6?

24. Hey women out there wearing clear bra straps: they are not invisible. You are not fooling anyone and just drawing attention to the saran wrap looking straps on your shoulders.