Blogosphere meet KP, KP meet Blogosphere. Happy Thursday

By the way, who took this pictures? Please tell me you did not use your self timer.

If this doesn't make you laugh, I'm not sure what will.
love you KP! xoxo mel mel

The Diary of a Shop Attendant: Chapter 2

This past weekend an elderly lady came into the store and successfully slid a sly one past us, well actually not me, my co-worker. The woman was all frazzled because she drove 25 miles to get to the store in time and realized she was three days past her return date. My co-worker bought her frazzled, traffic, driving, old lady story and let her exchange the bag for a different one. Apparently the one she wanted to return has been ‘sitting’ on her shelf and just isn’t right for her. At this point I am avoiding the return situation since no one has taught me how to do returns this really isn’t my problem.

Well, on Monday, a shipment of bags comes in and the manager is putting them out on the floor and rearranging the displays. While I am helping a customer my boss whispers in my ear to go in the back when I have a second and see what I find in the inside pocket of a purse she has just set back there. I am of course nervous and assume whatever I find will be alive. That is not the case. I quickly walk to the back because impatient me can’t wait to see what is there and look what I find:

If you are still staring and not sure what that is….. there are THREE sanitary napkins inside the purse. SICK. NASTY. That happens to be the exact purse the frantic old lady returned over the weekend. There are so many things wrong with this picture it is not even funny. First of all, frantic old lady is a liar because clearly she used the purse. Why does such an old lady have maxi pads (sick, the word of the post)? How did my co-worker that accepted the return not find them? Keep in mind next to the maxi pads is the price tag that my co-worker PUT INSIDE THE BAG.

A few lessons to take home from this lovely tale: 1. Empty all pockets of a purse when you decide to return it after you have already worn it, and 2. Check inside all the pockets before you buy it. No one wants a “gift with purchase.”

Until next time.

xoxo mel

Dear Uhaul, I hate you.

I have decided that renting a Uhaul is just about the worst thing in the world. Worse than calling At&t, trust me on this one. Last Friday the jewelry store was slow so I got to head out early. I had big plans on going for a run and then maybe taking a nap before the Robert Earl Keen concert that night. All those dreams were crushed when JP declared I go rent a Uhaul to finally pick up a couch from my cousin Stef’s apartment. (Keep in mind Stef has been storing this couch for us in her kitchen for 6 months). I figured this would not be that big of a hassle since I am practically a Uhaul expert. However, I was sadly mistaken. Once again I walked over to the Uhaul store and saw some familiar faces. The line was quite long so I was already getting annoyed. I tried to patiently wait, but then again, Melanie and patience do not really go together now do they. I begin to overhear the rather older lady in front of me complaining to the lovely Uhaul employee. Naturally, I whipped out my i-phone because I knew this was going to be an excellent blog topic, and pictures are always helpful. I decided to take a picture of each individual that was holding up the line, as they both are uniquely disturbing.

This lady, lets call her Gertrude, could not wrap her hands around the concept of a debit card. When you rent a Uhaul they charge your card a projected amount, and then when you return the vehicle your card either gets a refund or charged more, based on your usage. Well that concept was way over Gertrude’s head. Can we first look at her outfit? She is wearing high heels, with a cane, while moving. Interesting. She also has a sweat rag on her left shoulder…sick. She’s sporting a scruncie on her wrist and has an obnoxious sun hat. Besides her major fashion feaux paus, Gertrdue is flat out dumb. I am not kidding I almost went up to her and said listen here…this is how it works. However, her lovely son, who is not pictured, decided to come up and remedy the situation…right. He was just as bad with his curly ponytail and holey t-shirt. I was lucky enough to stand next to them when it was finally my turn to be helped and got to hear their conversation first hand. He was telling Gertrude how he enjoys working with cash only to avoid these debit card situations. He then preceded to say how he actually prefers to pay with gold and would just like to chip off from a gold brick what he needs and then they can put it on a scale and call it a day. EXCUSE ME……. I literally was dying laughing. He likes to trade in gold…right. The worst part was no one else in the store found this nearly as funny as me! I mean come on. You would like to rent your Uhaul in gold. After he said that, I was really upset I did snap his photo.

This is a picture of the other individual in line in front of me. That is his calf. I wanted everyone to see this one. No explanation necessary here.

After I finally got the Uhaul, JP thought it would be great idea if I picked her up from work and then she could help with the sofa. That all sounded great until I pulled up to her office building. She works in the same building as CAA, one of the largest talent agencies in LA. Imagine Entourage with a valet parking situation in front where I was instructed to pick her up from. The driveway was filled with Range Rovers, Bentleys, Mercedes, BMWs, you name it, and I was fortunate enough to pull up in my huge Uhaul. FML

The Pritchett Sisters Feng Shui

Inspiration

Realization


What do you think?
(pretend like I am not super lazy and used a real camera, and not my i-phone)

Amazing.

Because tomorrow is Friday!



I think this beats JP's video.

xoxo Mel

Why I Love The Biggest Loser

For those of you that don’t my guilty pleasure, it’s The Biggest Loser. I started watching the show when I was studying abroad in Sydney where we only had three channels (no joke). I might have loved TBL Australia because Shannon, the trainer, is a dreamboat. However, I still do enjoy the U.S. rendition. Here’s why:

· I always love a good competition.

· I love watching, reading and learning about fitness. Of course I am that girl that buys every US Weekly & People Magazine about how Kelly Osbourne lost 14 pounds in 10 days.

· The ad plug-ins are hilarious and remind me of the Saved By the Bell episode on subliminal messaging.

· Okay yes I will admit I might feel a little better about myself when watching. I mean I hate to admit it, but we are all thinking it.

· The contestants really do have amazing stories and it is truly unbelievable to see how much weight they lose.

· Somehow these contestants really think there is some huge strategy to winning. Hello, haven’t we all learned by now the key is a balance between diet and exercise, some of us just choose to ignore that formula (especially at 3 a.m. on Friday night at In ‘n Out).

· I really like seeing everyone’s personal temptations. Who knows what mine would be? Done guessing, ok peach cobbler.

· After watching a 2 hour episode I somehow feel like I too have worked out. That maybe isn’t a good thing…

Who I wish wasn't eliminated?

Sean

Why you ask? Because he’s hilarious and said, “I want to take a cupcake and rub it all over my body!”

How can you not love someone that says! He is hilarious and hopefully he didn't go home and actually a rub a cupcake all over his body. I'll miss you and your rosy cheeks Sean.

Who else out there watches TBL? I know there are a few of you out there…

xoxo mel

Furnishing an apartment priority #1: Beach Cruiser!

Lets disregard the fact I need a desk, dresser, lamp and bedside table. The #1 essential when moving to Santa Monica is a Beach Cruiser. Ever since I came out to LA in July and visited I have been dreaming about getting my very own beach cruiser with a large Dorothy style wicker basket. (Toto will have to come later). I have done extensive research trying to obviously find the best deal on my new cruiser and finally found the ONE.

My personal favorite things about the bike:

1. It is the same color as my mini: Vanilla

2. Although I am not a pink person, I do enjoy the splash of pink on the rims.

3. The detachable wicker basket. (it’s perfect for all those picnics I plan to go on).
4. Ummm duh the cheeseburger bell.

Since this bike has quite a few splashes of pink, I thought a cheeseburger bell would be the perfect final touch to tone down the cruiser. If you think I am never going to ride this thing….you’re wrong. It is now my official means of transportation around this town (unless a hill is involved because I opted out for gears). I ride it to work, the beach, yoga, the grocery store…you name it. If you think this is just a phase, I must prove you wrong once again. Throughout this past year I have really been building up a love of cruising.

March 2009 Cruising in Bali, Indonesia

July 2009 Cruising along the Champs Elysee in Paris, France

If you are now wanting your very own cruiser, I HIGHLY encourage it. Hello my fellow Houstonians, the city is flat, and we all know Austin is prone to bikers. I purchased my bike at Chubby's Cruisers where you two can get one of their 300 different cruisers shipped to you! They also have a fabulous array of bicycle accessories. Oh, and I forgot the best part, they are magicians.

Aluminum beach cruiser $220

Bike Lock: $35

Wicker Basket: $35

Lights: $15

(ticket if I don’t buy lights: $160)

Pump: $20

Cheeseburger bell: $8

Stuffing a beach cruiser into a Mini Cooper: Priceless

xoxo mel