Dear Uhaul, I hate you.

I have decided that renting a Uhaul is just about the worst thing in the world. Worse than calling At&t, trust me on this one. Last Friday the jewelry store was slow so I got to head out early. I had big plans on going for a run and then maybe taking a nap before the Robert Earl Keen concert that night. All those dreams were crushed when JP declared I go rent a Uhaul to finally pick up a couch from my cousin Stef’s apartment. (Keep in mind Stef has been storing this couch for us in her kitchen for 6 months). I figured this would not be that big of a hassle since I am practically a Uhaul expert. However, I was sadly mistaken. Once again I walked over to the Uhaul store and saw some familiar faces. The line was quite long so I was already getting annoyed. I tried to patiently wait, but then again, Melanie and patience do not really go together now do they. I begin to overhear the rather older lady in front of me complaining to the lovely Uhaul employee. Naturally, I whipped out my i-phone because I knew this was going to be an excellent blog topic, and pictures are always helpful. I decided to take a picture of each individual that was holding up the line, as they both are uniquely disturbing.

This lady, lets call her Gertrude, could not wrap her hands around the concept of a debit card. When you rent a Uhaul they charge your card a projected amount, and then when you return the vehicle your card either gets a refund or charged more, based on your usage. Well that concept was way over Gertrude’s head. Can we first look at her outfit? She is wearing high heels, with a cane, while moving. Interesting. She also has a sweat rag on her left shoulder…sick. She’s sporting a scruncie on her wrist and has an obnoxious sun hat. Besides her major fashion feaux paus, Gertrdue is flat out dumb. I am not kidding I almost went up to her and said listen here…this is how it works. However, her lovely son, who is not pictured, decided to come up and remedy the situation…right. He was just as bad with his curly ponytail and holey t-shirt. I was lucky enough to stand next to them when it was finally my turn to be helped and got to hear their conversation first hand. He was telling Gertrude how he enjoys working with cash only to avoid these debit card situations. He then preceded to say how he actually prefers to pay with gold and would just like to chip off from a gold brick what he needs and then they can put it on a scale and call it a day. EXCUSE ME……. I literally was dying laughing. He likes to trade in gold…right. The worst part was no one else in the store found this nearly as funny as me! I mean come on. You would like to rent your Uhaul in gold. After he said that, I was really upset I did snap his photo.

This is a picture of the other individual in line in front of me. That is his calf. I wanted everyone to see this one. No explanation necessary here.

After I finally got the Uhaul, JP thought it would be great idea if I picked her up from work and then she could help with the sofa. That all sounded great until I pulled up to her office building. She works in the same building as CAA, one of the largest talent agencies in LA. Imagine Entourage with a valet parking situation in front where I was instructed to pick her up from. The driveway was filled with Range Rovers, Bentleys, Mercedes, BMWs, you name it, and I was fortunate enough to pull up in my huge Uhaul. FML